Logsdon Family

Baby news!

2011-10-11T17:05:00.003-06:00

We heard the heartbeat today! It is always such a beautiful and reassuring moment to me... just to know that the baby is well and growing. And it is always amazing how fast those tiny, tiny hearts beat!

The Tulsa State Fair

2011-10-07T09:17:00.015-06:00

We had so much fun yesterday at the fair! Bob took the day off work and we went with our homeschool group. (We are learning how great it is to get the homeschool rates and to be able to go during the day when everyone else is at school!) Here are some of our favorite pictures of the day.

We love the Huge sandbox they have every year at the fair. Samuel is a magnet for sand. I think he would have stayed here all day!

Miriam had so much fun with her friend Abby. They got to ride several of the kiddie rides together. Even Samuel and Luke (Abby's little brother) got to ride the race cars with the big girls. Check out the smiles!

Miriam entered two items in the fair - a painting and a nine patch quilt she had been sewing for months. We are so proud of her hard work! She got a rainbow participation ribbon for her painting and a second place ribbon for her quilt.

This picture is Miriam with her friend Nathan. He did the great looking rainbow painting hanging right beside Miriam's apple tree.

Here are Miriam's entries before we turned them in...just so you can get a closer look at her artistry!

What we didn't get pictures of were all the animals we saw. We love the "animal hospital" where all the baby animals are born - pigs, goats, sheep, and chicks. So cute! We also saw a sea lion show which the girls loved - and Samuel slept through. :)

I'll try to be more regular with my posts...I've been really slow this past month...my excuse is first trimester pregnancy! Hopefully I'll be back to my normal self soon. :)

Our Reader

2011-08-26T12:11:00.003-06:00

Our girl sat down and read three little books to Papa last night. Yes, she really read them, not just "read" (as in memorized). It was such a sweet moment...just think of all the wonderful books she has ahead of her!

Yes, Samuel wanted in on the fun too! :)

Puddle Jumping

2011-08-24T12:34:00.006-06:00

We have been so grateful for rain. Weeks without puddles made us almost forget how much fun they really are! Here are some pictures of the kids splashing to their hearts content. (Does it make you want to join them?!)

Gardening in Oklahoma

2011-08-09T12:57:00.011-06:00

This was going to be our year. We expanded our garden. I spent the past year picking up canning jars at garage sales. The kids were old enough to entertain themselves. Our deep freeze had plenty of room. We were all set to garden like crazy and preserve as much as possible...but...we live in Oklahoma. Like much of the heartland, not much has been growing here this summer. I hate to complain really. I know people whose livelihood depends upon the weather. The farm I buy chickens from is dealing with much worse...their chickens are dying, their cattle have nothing to eat so they are having to buy hay...and the price of hay is going up. The u-pick farm we are members of has basically nothing to sell to their members. The kind old gentleman I buy eggs from has hardly any eggs to sell because his chickens can't lay in this heat. So really, my plight is not that bad. For me it is a momentary disappointment. I go to the grocery store instead and come home with food for the family. We still eat, even if the food does come from California.

Here is what happens to pole beans when the temps reaches into the 110's degrees...day after day after day. And no rain...

And here is what happened to our poor kiwi plant. We'll try again next summer.

There have been bright spots...back in May we had our first strawberry crop along with lettuce, spinach, and radishes. Later we harvested 22 heads of garlic, about 15 red onions, a handful of tomatoes, a bowlful of carrots, and lots and lots of basil. They have been little reminders that springtime and harvest will return again.

And finally, our prayers for rain were answered. The rain came. In torrents, with wind and hail. A large limb from our pecan tree fell on top of the playset. But our neighbors came (with power tools!) and by Sunday evening most of the limbs were cleared away.

We were without power for almost 24 hours. When the power came back on Sunday evening we were all glad to have lights and appliances and (most of all) air conditioning again. This morning we woke to sunshine and pleasant temperatures. A friend called and we went to the park. There was shade and a cool breeze. More reminders that God is good. Yes, yes He is.

Dog days of summer

2011-07-07T18:08:00.004-06:00

Sometimes all you can do is hang out in the water and eat a popsicle.

Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cottontail...and Peter too

2011-07-06T18:18:00.007-06:00

This morning I was poking around in my garden, weeding a bit, worrying over my sun scorched vegetables, when I noticed something squirming under my green bean teepee. My first thought - "eek, mouse!"...but when I looked more closely I saw that it was a baby bunny. Miriam and Samuel came running to see. I saw at least 4, Miriam says she saw 5. They are burrowed down so it is tricky to say exactly how many are in there. Of course, I realize they are tunneling animals, so who knows how many rabbits are really living in my yard right now. The gardener in me knows I must "do something" about this adorable nuisance. The mama in me wants to protect these babies. So we'll see how it goes...at the rate my garden is going there won't be much for them to eat anyway. (We need rain and cooler temps so badly!) Here are the pictures of our rabbit family...

Truly, aren't they just precious?

Update: I just watered my garden...and scared the baby bunnies out of their hole. I don't know where the mama went to - we haven't seen her all day. I am a wee bit worried about these babies out in the dark and alone. And Miriam will be so disappointed if they aren't there tomorrow!

Update II: This morning 3 of the bunnies were curled up together beside the raised garden bed. After reading online, it seems that the mothers are often gone all day, so probably they haven't been abandoned at all. They are also fairly self-sufficient from an early age, so I guess the'll be okay....not sure the same can be said for my garden! :)

Camping

2011-07-04T19:38:00.006-06:00

The first weekend in June we went camping with Rachel, Alex, and Mom. I admit that it was my idea to drag us all out in the heat to tent camp. It always sounds like such a good idea...until late afternoon - whew it was hot! Despite that, we had a good time. We celebrated Sam's birthday with cupcakes. (He still walks around the house singing, "birthday boy, birthday boy"! He thinks it still his bday.) It was great to be with family - and maybe next time we'll wait until the fall. :)

Samuel turns 2!

2011-06-11T10:56:00.006-06:00

Our "baby" is now a two year old boy. Again, I ask, where did the time go? We are so blessed to have this energetic, funny, good natured, friendly boy as our own.

He is very excited to have his own bike helmet (for trike riding) just like Sissy!

2 years later...and still dancing

2011-06-11T10:23:00.004-06:00

I've decided to try reviving this blog for the purpose of being more intentional about sharing photos of the kids. So I'm starting where we ended...with dance! Miriam has been a ballerina since she turned 3. And now here she is - a very grown up 5 year old dancer....where did the time go?

Ballet

2009-07-27T17:24:00.007-06:00

Miriam has been taking ballet lessons since March - just after she turned 3. We found a great deal with the city parks. It's only $5 for the whole month of weekly lessons. If you're a Tulsan with a little girl, check it out! Miriam LOVES it. Here are some cute pictures of our pretty pink ballerina.

Miriam's blanket

2009-07-04T10:39:00.007-06:00

One day when Samuel was probably a week or two old, I was zoned out on the couch with my snuggly baby not watching my three year old very well, I confess. I knew she was doing an art project. I heard her opening and closing the drawers of our crazy-large art supplies (leftover from my teaching days...). When I finally roused myself into supervising, I found craft supplies strewn all over the kitchen floor and Miriam, looking very proud, as she showed me the "blanket" she made for Samuel. She had found a large piece of felt and decorated it with glitter, stickers, and other miscellaneous items she had glued on it. Aside from the fact that it is a chocking hazard to any baby, it is probably one of the most love filled gifts he has been given. :) I finally got around to photographing it. So, here they are, the sweet big sis and the lovable baby.

What a cutie, huh? He weighs about 13 lbs already!

Happy Father's Day!

2009-06-20T22:15:00.005-06:00

When I married Bob 6 1/2 years ago, I knew he was going to be a great husband. What I didn't know, was what a kind and loving father he would be to our children. No one makes Miriam laugh like her Papa. I love watching the two of them together - and I look forward to watching that same loving relationship develop between Bob and Samuel. They are off to a great start. After all, he is an expert diaper changer and swaddler! In honor of Bob, and all the other great dads out there....Happy Father's Day!

Samuel and Miriam

2009-06-17T12:42:00.007-06:00

Samuel is two weeks old already! He is growing - and we are loving him more everyday, if that is possible. :) He is a precious, precious baby. Miriam is thriving in her role as big sister. She loves to do "this little piggy" with his toes and kiss him whenever she can. My heart is full when I see them together. Being a big sister myself with a little brother, I see them and remember my own childhood. I also anticipate all the fun the future holds for the two of them.

The picture of Miriam below is on her new swing set from Pataw. We love being able to swing in our own backyard. Thanks, Dad!

Sleepy Samuel

He seems to like his fingers a lot...when he can find them!

Samuel Anthony Logsdon is here!

2009-06-09T14:36:00.010-06:00

Mama, Papa, and Samuel, shortly after his birth

Holding Samuel for the first time

Our sleeping boy

Miriam is a wonderful big sister!

Alice, our gifted midwife, with Samuel and Miriam

As most of you know, our sweet boy was born on June 2nd - one week ago today. We had a wonderful homebirth experience and feel so blessed to have a healthy baby in our arms. Samuel weighed 8 lbs. 1oz and was 20 1/2 inches long at birth. He has some dark hair just like Miriam - and seems to have the same hairline as well. :) He is a champion nurser and fairly good sleeper, for a newborn, anyway! He was born after only 3 hours of labor, which I attribute to great genes (thanks, Mom!) and being so relaxed at home. My friend Alexis was here and was a wonderful help during labor and delivery. Bob, being the super dad that he is, was able to catch Samuel. It was truly an amazing experience. We are grateful to our wonderful midwife, Alice, and to God for working through all the folks that were a part of Samuel's birth. God has been so good to us! Keep praying for us as we adjust to being a family of four. My mom went home today, so I would LOVE any prayers lifted up on my behalf as I navigate the waters of motherhood times two! Stay tuned for more pictures!!

Teen girls

2009-05-29T08:00:00.007-06:00

It is hard to believe I am really done with teen girls ministry. It has been an unexpected blessing in my life, but it is definitely time to pass it on to someone else. I've been thinking about how much of what I have done has been with Miriam on my hip or sitting on my lap. It's been a juggle, for sure. I feel so blessed that Kaytie is around to continue working with these girls. It makes it much easier to let go. These girls have been (and will continue to be) so special to me. I'm glad I'll be around to see the next steps in their lives.

The pictures are from our last Tuesday Bible study together. We finished our lessons on sexual purity and gave the girls an opportunity to sign pledge cards, promising to wait for marriage before having sex. Then the girls got to make bead necklaces or bracelets as reminders of this promise. Please pray for their courage in the face of temptation, and for Kaytie as she loves and listens and spends time with these girls.

Thanks to all of you who have followed this girls ministry and helped in so many ways. Your prayers have been an encouragement. May God bless you as you minister to those in your corner of the world.

We are all a little LOST

2009-05-27T20:15:00.002-06:00

I was talking to Ric, a social worker at the hospice in which I now work as chaplain. We both enjoy watching the TV show LOST. Prior to our discussion of the show, we had talked about how people do things for a reason. There is usually a cognitive, belief statement from which they operate. This leads to the feelings and actions that flow. These beliefs may not be true. Every now and then we stop and reflect. We ask ourselves, "Why am I doing this?" As we talked about the show LOST, I shared the frustration that the characters rarely stop and say, "I am not taking one more step until somebody around here explains what is really going on around here on this strange island." The characters do, but they stop so short of what I think that I would request. I connected the two discussions and realized that I do the same. Often I just keep doing the same old stuff over and over without stopping and saying, "I am not taking one more step without looking at this."

Waiting for the baby....

2009-05-27T12:01:00.002-06:00

I am discovering how impatient I am. Miriam was born 10 days early, so I never had to sit around and wonder if she was ever going to show up. But this time....I'm not even to my due date and I'm so restless!! Because Miriam was early, I felt the need to finish all my to do lists early this time. So now I'm sitting around with my list (for the most part anyway) completed, and wondering what on earth are we waiting for! Here's a picture of me...SO ready to meet this little one!

Congratulations, Bob!

2009-05-27T11:54:00.003-06:00

Bob graduated from CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) training on May 15th. It was a busy and intense 9 months. It is so nice to have him come home each day and not have homework. It is also wonderful to have him home every night - no more on call nights at the hospital - Hurray! (Although, to be honest, Miriam loved that part. We'd eat dinner in the cafeteria and then she got to play in the on-call room. So much fun for a 3 year old!) The picture is from graduation day. Good job, Bob! We are so proud of all your hard work!

Bob started his new job on the following Monday. Much of his time so far has been spent in training, but so far he is really enjoying it. Praise God for his many blessings!

The Dying as Astronauts

2009-05-21T19:52:00.005-06:00

In talking to a social worker with hospice, he said that one person likened the dying to astronauts. They look at life from a perspective that helps us see ourselves and the world around us in amazing, new ways.

The goodness of the Lord

2009-05-01T16:31:00.004-06:00

We have shared the good news with most of you, but in case you haven't heard...Bob has a job!!! His current job is as a chaplain resident, which means he has a 9 month training job learning how to be a chaplain. Those nine months are also the same 9 months of our pregnancy, which meant right about the time baby shows up, Bob would be without a job. These last few months had some stressful moments for me, I confess! But how could I ever doubt the Lord? Just in His time, He provided. Bob had an interview a week and a half ago with a hospice here in town. By that afternoon they had offered him the job! We are so excited about this new opportunity, and so happy that we get to stay here in our home and among so many friends. We thank all of you who prayed for us, and most of all we Praise God for his faithfulness!

Letting your neighbor love back

2009-04-11T20:52:00.003-06:00

Well, today was one of those days. Fun start. Miriam, Sarah, and I went to an Easter egg hunt in the morning. Miriam being in the older end of her age bracket, finished up quite well after two minutes or so of gathering eggs and candy. This was a classy Easter egg hunt. CHOCOLATE candy in the eggs! Fruit gummies and big suckers were on the ground as well.

When we returned home, we noticed that the ground in the front yard felt a little squishy. There was a significant puddle of water that hugged the curb all in front of our lot. The squishy pathway seemed to lead to the water shut-off valve. There I found water up to the brim. My shut-off valve overfloweth. Then the choice: Do I get angry and upset, or do I see this as something that happens in life? By the grace of God, I chose plan B. We called the plumber and found out that a broken water main is expensive to fix. Then I discovered if I could dig the line myself, I could save a lot of money.

Next two guys on my street asked about the situation. I explained that I may be having a DIG party. One offered to help whenever that happens (I still need to get the utility companies to come mark the lines.) The other offered his truck if we needed to get a Ditch Witch.

Before the plumber got there, I was reading Jesus' response to the test of the most important commandments. As you know, Jesus passed! I am reminded today that loving our neighbor is the fabric that holds a disconnected world together. I believe ultimately spirituality is built and fulfilled in community (that is borrowed line from a book called The Spirituality of Imperfection). I am excited to get some help on digging and living in the Kingdom.

Spring Break sleepover

2009-04-01T21:08:00.006-06:00

Spring break was about two weeks ago. We'd been talking about doing a sleepover for a while, so this seemed like a good week. We had some great volunteers (as always!) who helped out. The girls and guys ate pizza and saw a movie, then split up for a sleepover. The girls went to the home of one of our volunteers. They had a great time - as you can tell from the pictures. Bring back any memories?

I don't think they went to sleep until 6 or 7 a.m. - I'm pretty sure they slept all day!

One of our teens and Kaytie, a new staff member at Contact

Two of our beautiful girls

Choir update

2009-04-01T20:57:00.007-06:00

A small group of our girls' choir had the opportunity a few weeks ago to sing at the new children's hospital at St. Francis. They visited three floors and sang in the "play rooms" on each floor. The girls really enjoyed being able to sing for the kids -some of whom are in long-term care. See pictures below.

One of our teens visiting with one of the tiny patients

The girls singing

Miriam and I and a few patients

Another one of the girls singing

Miriam turns 3!

2009-03-31T19:42:00.005-06:00

Unbelievably, our little girl turned 3 on March 21st. These past three years have been an amazing experience - learning how to be parents to this special little person, watching her grow physically, seeing her personality emerge, growing into a family together. I can't even imagine how much we all have to look forward to in the next 3 years!

Grammy and Pataw and Auntie Rachel all made a special trip to Oklahoma. We also had a few friends over to celebrate the big day. Here are some pics from the birthday weekend.

Friends and family at Miriam's party

Miriam and Grammy

Miriam and Auntie Rachel

Miriam opening presents - very excited about new paint!

Miriam and Pataw in fun party hats!

Miriam in her new wagon from Grammy and Pataw

Miriam and Papa in her new princess castle from Grandma and Grandpa Logsdon

The birthday cakes! Miriam wanted a green ladybug cake...so I made a red one too so it would be recognizable as a ladybug!

Ash Wednesday

2009-02-26T20:41:00.003-06:00

Growing up church of Christ, Ash Wednesday was not really a part of my vocabulary, let alone the yearly calendar. After Bob and I married however, we started trying to practice Lent, quietly and within our new family. We liked the idea of a yearly rhythm with God. Making Easter less about chocolate bunnies and egg hunts and more about our faith appealed to us. I think each year we've benefited from whatever small sacrifices we chose to make, but it has been challenging since it was something we did, for the most part, alone, and not as part of our faith community.

Bob's job as a hospital chaplain this year involved providing an Ash Wednesday service, along with the other resident chaplains, to anyone at the hospital - patient or employee- who desired to participate. I decided to show up, along with Miriam, for one of the services. Despite the whispers of the nearly-three year old beside me, it was a really meaningful experience. Scripture reading, singing, prayer, and then the opportunity to come forward and be marked on the forehead with ashes. "This is to remind you that from ashes you come, and to ashes you will return", is (I think) the phrase Bob spoke as he made a cross on my head with ashes. There on my head was a tangible reminder of my mortality, my humanity, my sinfulness. As I wore the ashes down the corridors of the hospital, as I saw people glance at the "smudge" on my head, I was very aware of God's presence and God's plan for myself and all of His lost creation.

I am prayerful these days. They are pretty uncertain ones for our family! I am pregnant. I am facing the end of my time as youth/children's minister at Contact. Bob and I are completely unsure as to where he will work after May, where we may need to move, what major changes our expanding family may have to face. I am hopeful though. As we enter the Lenten season, I feel sure that just as God has always had a plan for humanity, He has a plan for us - for me, for our family, for our new baby, for all the kids and families we love here in Tulsa. And for you too.

Saying goodbye

2009-02-13T13:38:00.003-06:00

Today I went to a funeral for the grandmother of several of our Contact kids and teens. She was only 54, but at the time of her death she was living in a nursing home. Two strokes and stolen her ability to communicate or do much for herself. I honestly had no idea she was so young. The last time I saw her was when the choir sang at the nursing home where she lived. She could have easily passed for a woman several decades older. When I received word of her death last week, I was sad for her family, and so glad that the choir had chosen to sing there first. If we had waited even a month it would have been too late. You could tell, just be watching her, that she loved seeing her granddaughters sing.
Please pray for this family as they say goodbye to their grandma.

Choir lock-in

2009-02-07T10:35:00.002-06:00

Our annual lock-in is over... and everyone seems to have survived! Lock-ins are one of those events loved by teens and dreaded by adults. Staying up all (or nearly all) night loses its appeal sometime after 18, I think. So I am especially grateful to the three ladies that did the hard work of chaperoning this event: Kaytie Jo Stinson, Devin Dupre, and Dalene Lawrence. The lock-in was for all our choir girls - 3rd grade through high school. Eight of our girls were able to make it, an equal mix of both elementary and older girls. We planned this event with the idea that our girls needed some time to have fun together and perhaps develop a greater unity as a singing group. I showed up for a little while in the evening, and then came back in the morning with doughnuts to take the girls home. From what I saw, it was a really positive evening. We took the girls to Cici's and filled them up with pizza, then on to a late movie ("Hotel for Dogs"). By the time they got back to Contact it was late, but the girls were still energized enough to stay up most of the night doing hair and nails, singing karaoke, eating snacks, and enjoying the free reign of the building. I'll attach a few pictures of this event soon. Thanks for lifting up these special girls in your prayers!

A new perspective on old stories

2009-02-04T21:10:00.002-06:00

In the fall, our girls' Bible study group began studying women of the Bible. It seemed like up until this point we had done more topical studies, so I thought it was time to just start with basic Bible studies of women and see where it would lead us each week. I hoped the girls would benefit from it, but I honestly never expected how much I would enjoy it! Most of our girls have such weak Bible knowledge, so almost every story was new to them. We started with Eve, which they knew pretty well. But from there it was all new territory. Miriam, singing and leading Isreal, then struck with leprosy. Deborah, the judge and prophet, leading Israel with the courage the men of that time couldn't match. Jaal, the gutsy woman who killed a king. Hannah, the prayerful woman of God, waiting for her son, then giving him back to God. Esther, an obscure Jewish girl made queen, who prayerfully risked her life to save her people. Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah who was seduced by David, lost her husband and child, but went on to mother Solomon, the wisest person ever. Wow! When you haven't heard the stories before, they are full of surprises. Every week I heard the girls gasp in wonder, surprise, bewilderment, horror...just from straight readings of the word. I look at all these women of the Bible with fresh eyes now too. And I look at our girls with a new perspective too. I can't dismiss them, or any teens, as not caring about the Bible. Given a chance, they'll eat it up - and teach me a lot along the way too.

ICE!

2009-01-29T07:23:00.002-06:00

Tulsa got hit by the ice storm moving across the country this week. After last winter's crazy power outage (we had no power for an entire week) this seems like nothing! Only a few lost power, which I attribute to the fact that there were no trees left to fall on power lines. It was insane how many trees fell last winter! The piles of debris looked liked small mountains. Anyway, the roads have been icky, and the kids are out of school for the third day in a row. Yesterday a couple teen girls who live pretty close by walked over to the house. They were so bored that they were ready to brave the cold to have something to do. As I watched one of the teens chow down on the popcorn I fixed for a snack, I wondered how all the moms were feeding their kids. So many families rely on school meals to feed their kids breakfast and lunch, how are they making it during this ice storm? Here it is the end of the month, money is probably tight, and they have to feed their kids 6 extra unexpected meals. The girls stayed for dinner, and I felt good about making sure they had at least one square meal that day. But what about all the other kids I know? In these uncertain economic times, everyone is starting to feel the budget crunch, but hard times always hit the poor first and hardest. When you don't have disposable income, what can you cut from your budget? Hard choices are made - electric bill or food? Medicine or rent?

The ice is supposed to melt today, but the hard financial times will continue. What can we do to help our struggling neighbors?

Late Christmas post

2009-01-26T10:01:00.013-06:00

Well, I'm only a month late, but here are a few Christmas pictures - from both Contact and our family.

At Contact, our annual Christmas store was a few weeks before Christmas. Toys are donated by area churches and individuals and then sold to needy families at a drastically reduced rate (generally 75% discount). This allows families to have the dignity of shopping and buying their own children's toys. This year was a great success, with lots of families and children served. The day before the store, Miriam and I had the fun of shopping for toys with $400 of donated money. I don't think I've ever spent so much money at Walmart! Our cart was loaded with stereos, jewelry, dart guns, and more. During the store on Saturday, our teen girls helped by providing childcare for our members who were working at the store. We also took care of a few children whose parents were shopping. We decorated cookies, painted, made bead jewelry, played with play-dough, watched movies, and managed to keep the kids occupied for several hours. (See picture below.)

Our family went to AR for Christmas to be with my parents, siblings, and grandparents. It's usually a once a year event to get my sister, brother and I all home, thus making it a special time, even if all too brief. Miriam had lots of playmates (and being the only grandchild) received lots of attention! See a few pictures below.

Miriam and I with Aunt Rita and Uncle Jason

She loved the piano, and entertained us greatly with all the different songs she made up to the tune of "Jesus loves me"!

Pataw "rescued" her from the "fire restaurant" (Asian grill restaurant where they cook at your table.) Miriam was terrified, until Pataw found the ice cream!

Grammy, of course, read lots of books.

Auntie Rachel is so funny! :)

We hope your holidays were special, and that your new year has begun in a blessed and beautiful way!
Scroll down for another new post.

Choir

2009-01-25T15:09:00.002-06:00

Today the girls' choir went to a local nursing home and sang for the residents. The girls sounded lovely, and the elderly people responded with applause and smiles. It is always beautiful to see older and younger people connecting, and I was encouraged by what I saw today. One of the residents is a grandmother of several of the girls in the group. A stroke has taken away much of her ability to communicate, but you could see in her eyes how happy she was to see her grandaughters and how proud she was to hear them sing.

This was only the second time our choir has performed. The girls sang at Christmas time at Contact. Their first performance was received with lots of encouragement by our Contact family. (See picture above.) Our goal, now that we have a few songs under our belt, is to sing the last Sunday of each month at nursing homes, hospitals, or possibly other locations too. While the girls are still learning the fine art of staying on key and singing together, I think the most important part of choir is the process. Learning to listen, to be a team, to help the younger girls, to hear the very words they are singing as words from God....these are lessons that I hope will begin to seep into their hearts. Please pray for these 3rd -high school age girls! (And pray for the adults who help them...we're planning a choir lock-in soon!!)

Have a Cooking Pot

2008-11-18T22:42:00.003-06:00

I was reminded today of a godly woman who studied the Bible with a single lady in New York City. As they were talking the single lady commented on how beautiful the woman's earrings were. She immediately took them off and gave them to the lady. No request was made. No hesitation about whether she would give what she had. No questioning about whether she could give her something that she did not like. She wanted this single mother to have something beautiful in her life.

I got a call today from a mother of ten children. Her kids go to Contact Church. Sarah had made a pot of chili to take to their family. I requested that the kids bring the pot with them to church when they were through with it. She called me this afternoon wanting a phone number, but also to know from where I got that cooking pot. She said that she was in need of something that big to cook soup in. Recalling this special lady from NYC, I immediately offered the cooking pot (careful here, not to say "pot" by itself!). I operated on the principle of it being easier to ask for forgiveness from Sarah rather than permission. Sarah was very supportive of the gift when I talked to her later about the call. I am thankful for people that model unattachment to things. Their acts of caring reflect a worship of Creator, not the created. Their acts of caring inspire us to see God offering the adornment of grace in our lives.

Girls' Camping Trip

2008-11-08T22:34:00.010-06:00

In mid-October myself and two other adults took a couple teen girls camping at Sequoyah State Park. The weather was perfect - warm during the day, cool at night and just right for a campfire. The girls had a great time and enjoyed the outdoors - setting up the tents, cooking over a fire, hiking, horseback riding, seeing the stars (amazing!), and campfire devos. We were right beside the water. When I woke up Sunday morning a flock of geese was flying across the water. What a beautiful way to start the day! Here are a few pictures from the trip.

Playing games

Miriam got to come along on the trip. Other than getting sick in the middle of the night :( she had a great time!

Girls setting up the tent

Book give away

2008-10-12T21:48:00.003-06:00

In cleaning out closets and shelves at Contact recently I found a huge treasure trove of children's books. They were mostly really great books (lots of caldecott medals!) in really great shape. Sadly, they had been collecting dust at Contact for some time. Since I am always on the look-out for service ideas for our teen girls, this seemed perfect: give the girls a chance to spend time with some kids, and get these books in the hands of children! Yesterday I was blessed to hang out with three teen girls and one adult from Contact as we passed out the books to kids at an apartment complex close to Contact. We met some really special kids who were very happy to get free books, and even happier to have folks stopping and playing with them. It was very encouraging to see our young teens praying about being good role models, and then going out and living it. It's a daily challenge to be Jesus' hands and feet in this world, but yesterday we had the chance to practice. Hopefully, we are learning that service project days aren't the only time to serve...every day is a service day in His kingdom!

"That's a gun."

2008-09-22T21:41:00.002-06:00

I have the joy of teaching the 2 and 3 year olds in Bible class every Sunday. I have always loved teaching this age group most of all, perhaps because it is the first thing I ever taught, my introduction into my life calling. This past Sunday I had six sweet kiddos. No one was crying and no one had a potty accident...two signs that it was a going to be a good day! As we began class, I sang a song about getting ready to go to worship on Sunday. The children were looking at the flipchart pictures and singing along to their own music. One picture in the flipchart was of several people walking into the church building and greeting their friends. A little girl in the picture had a Bible under her arm. One of my two year old girls pointed to the Bible and adamently declared, "That's a gun." I hesitated at first. Did she really just call the Bible a gun? Then she repeated it several times. I explained that it was really a Bible. The people in the pictures are taking their Bibles to worship God. She never acknowledged that it was indeed a Bible. It blew me away to think how quickly the idea of a gun came to her mind. This story has stuck with me this week because I think of my own two year old. To Miriam any book at all can be a Bible. (She's been carrying around a German dictionary for months, claiming it's a Bible!) The Bible is so familiar to her. I wonder how familiar it is to the other girl in my class?

This story hurts my heart as I wonder about her home and her experiences. It also reminds me of the the time I sat in an apartment holding a two year while he watched a horror film. No one who lived there seemed to be concerened about what he was absorbing. I feel so ready to march for world peace when I think of these children. What kind of world have we created for them? How are we making the world better, more peaceful? And, of course, it also reinforces my passion to teach even these very little ones to love the Bible. We're going to keep singing about our Bibles, holding them, patting them, hugging them, and learning stories from them. Stories about Jesus, the good shepherd, the peacemaker, the one who turns swords into plowshares.

Miriam funny

2008-09-19T21:17:00.004-06:00

I feel like so many funny things Miriam does are funny only to Mama and Papa, or at least only funny in the moment, but this one seemed entertaining enough to actually share after the fact. We recently checked out a c.d. from the library, "All you need is Love: Beatles for kids". Miriam loved it a lot - yellow submarine, Dear Prudence, Octopus garden - all the classic hippie songs. :) But the song she has sung most is, "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da". The words to the chorus are, "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, life goes on rah, la, la, how that life goes on..." Miriam's version: "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, life goes on, rah, la, la, put my clo-thes on!" She sings it at the top of her lungs. Aah, the joyous abandon of childhood singing!

Thoughts on Ike

2008-09-19T21:02:00.002-06:00

For those of you who keep up with our Contact teen girl happenings, you know that our girls took a much anticipated trip to Houston this summer. Being so close to the beach, they also got to enjoy Galveston. A couple nights ago two girls were over at our house working on their scrapbooks of this trip. While chatting, we started talking about Hurricane Ike, wondering what effect it had on the all the people they met and places they went. The girls got on the interenet and starting reading and looking at pictures. They were awed by what they saw. Houston and Galveston were places they felt connected with, and now much of it is gone. It is truly devestating to look at the pictures and imagine how many lives have been effected. As saddened as I was by it too, I was also touched by the two teens in my kitchen. They felt an empathy for the people in the Houston area that was greatly increased by their own experiences there. Now these girls care about more than just Tulsa, they see Texans as their brothers and sisters too.

Service day

2008-09-13T13:43:00.003-06:00

Today a few of the teen girls got together to do a service project. They filled gift bags for new babies whose moms are involved in Contact's "Mom's in Touch" program led by Mary Lasarski. Young women who choose to participate in this program go through a series of lessons with Mary about different aspects of parenting. As they participate in the lessons (usually done at their homes) and as they attend church regularly, they earn points. They can then use the points to "buy" baby items. Some items are small (diapers, clothes, books), but there are also larger items as well (strollers, cribs, and car seats). This is such a neat program, as it addresses major parenting issues right at the beginning, or even before, the new babies are born.

Today our teen girls decorated onesies with cute iron-on pictures, and then filled gift bags with the onsies, diapers, pacifiers, and washcloths. It was great to see their creativity as they worked, and to see their desire to bless these unknown babies with something special during the first days of their life. The particular group of girls that gathered today get along well. They laughed as they worked, and ran around the auditorium to burn off some of their youthful energy. Watching them, it occured to me that some of the moms who will receive the gift bags will be about the same age as these girls. How greatly parenting changes a teenagers life! As we prayed over the gift bags, I prayed silently over our teens. "Dear Lord, help them as they navigate these difficult teenage years. Help them to learn to serve others. Help them to keep their beautiful, playful, creative spirit that I see today. Help them wait for motherhood." Please pray this prayer with me!

Family pictures

2008-08-14T13:18:00.007-06:00

It's been a while since I've posted anything family related. Here are a few pictures from our summer.

Bob and Miriam love playing in the backyard. They are great buddies. As soon as Papa comes home each day, Miriam says, "Want to play with me Papa?". Sweetness.

Dress-up has been our favorite game all summer. This is Miriam with Judith and Drake, the two kids I babysat all summer. As you can tell, they helped entertain Miriam a lot!

We spent quite a bit of time in our little wading pool. Miriam loves her sunglasses.

This is a picture from the Tulsa Zoo. We are zoo members now, so we are really enjoying getting to drop by the zoo whenever we have time. Miriam loves the train!

God has been so good to us this summer. I pray that you've been able to see his goodness in your family as well.

God's family keeps growing!

2008-08-03T17:20:00.004-06:00

I’ve been eager to write this post for some time, but I wanted to wait until I had a picture to go with it. One Sunday last month, there were three Contact folks who were baptized into Christ. Early in the service a woman who has come to Contact for some time decided to be baptized. Shortly thereafter, her adult son, Trey, decided he wanted to be rebaptized. Trey was baptized first, and then, in a very beautiful gesture, baptized his mother. We were all rejoicing with our new brother and sister, when one of our teens decided she too wanted to become a member of God’s family. Porsche came over to me and said she wanted to be baptized, but “I’m freaking out!” We calmed her nerves, and Bob talked with her for a minute, then he went to get her dad. That morning her dad, one of the first original Contact members, baptized her. It was such a beautiful morning, seeing the commitment and joy in the faces of our new sisters and brother, seeing the connection between our physical and spiritual families. We sang and prayed, and never even got around to having a sermon…the baptisms spoke so clearly of God’s presence among us. Please pray for our new family members as they take their first steps of a new life!

Scared enough to change?

2008-07-11T14:12:00.005-06:00

We have recently started a second girls' group. It was by the grace of God that this group formed. I did not go out seeking them, but God started sending these older girls to our teen group. Recognizing that their needs are vastly different from the 12-15 year olds I work with, we decided to form a new group. This one is for older girls, still or their teens or early twenties. Some of these girls are moms of one or two kids. We were blessed to have two women at Contact step up and agree to mentor these girls. The group is still in the early stages - just one or two young women each time - but I feel a stong sense that God is working here.

Last Tuesday I had a chance to visit with one of the young women. She has two small children, is living on her own, dropped out of school, no job...a hard situation indeed. She was very downcast all evening. She confided that her brother was recently shot "over colors" (gang stuff). He is recovering, but she is too scared to return to her apartment. If she had been home, she believes the shooting would have happened there. "What about my kids?" she worried. Later she also told me that her babies' daddy was sent to jail last week. She is staying in a crowded house with his family, trying to figure out what to do, where to go... We prayed together. I said things I hoped were helpful, praying all the while that God would put words in my mouth. How hard it is to respond to a situation I can barely grasp, a hopelessness I have never felt!

Later a visited with one of the mentors for this older group. When I told her how discouraged this young woman was on Tuesday, her response surprised me at first. "Good, that's good...maybe she'll be scared enough to make some real changes now". The more I thought about it, the more I heard the wisdom of her remarks. This young woman has had plans before - school, job training, new apartment - but they all fizzled. Now she is at a place to make some real changes. It's no small thing to change your friends, your apartment, your environment, but I believe that is what she needs in order to step out of the life she is in and into the life God is calling her to. Sometimes being scared is a good thing. Thankfully, this young woman has some people who really care about her, who want to help her make changes, who love her where she is, and seek to offer her a hand of hope. Please pray for this young woman and pray for the wisdom of those who seek to offer both truth and grace.

Contact Teen Girls Need Your Help!

2008-06-26T14:53:00.003-06:00

Many of you may have received the following letter via email. I'm posting it here so that anyone I missed can read about our needs. Please pass this information along to other people you think may be able to help the Contact Girls. Additionally, we are having one more car wash this Saturday, June 28th, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. at Park Plaza church of Christ.

"For the past three months our teen girls have been working to raise money for a trip to Houston. The purpose of the trip is to provide an opportunity for the girls to have new experiences, learn something of the world outside of Tulsa, and open their eyes to new possibilities. The girls, along with their chaperones (Dalene Lawrence, Cathy Gotcher, and Devin Dupree) hope to visit NASA’s Houston Space Center and the Holocaust Museum, as well as journey to Galveston to see the ocean, something none of our girls have ever seen before.

We have had car washes, bake sales, and a big thrift sale to raise money. The girls have worked hard to earn their way to Houston, and God has definitely blessed their efforts. However, we are still several hundred dollars short of what we need to make this trip. This is where you can step in and help! We are having a “No Bake, Bake Sale”. Instead of donating baked goods for us to sell, we are asking you to take the amount of money you would spend on sugar, eggs, butter, etc… and donate that to us. We are grateful for any amount you feel you can give.

Please mail all donations to:
Contact Church of Christ
ATTN: Teen Girls’ ministry
1529 W. 49th St.
Tulsa, Ok 74107

The girls leave on July 10th, so we need to wrap up our fundraising as soon as possible. Please mail all donations by this Friday, June 27th; however, we will continue accepting donations throughout the rest of the summer. Thank you for caring about these girls and helping to make this trip happen for them. We also ask that you offer up prayers for this trip and these very special girls. We especially ask for prayers that this trip will provide them with a new vision of how God can work in their lives."

Best Sermon Today At Contact

2008-06-22T22:11:00.002-06:00

Today I was scheduled to preach at Contact. I had my notes and even a hand-out ready to go. I asked two boys to pass out the hand-out, and then the message changed.

An older lady and her son stood before Contact with Ron, a minister at Contact. She was ready to stop living a lie and be baptized. Her adult son confessed that after being baptized at ayoung age, he had wondered off like the prodigal son. He was ready to be baptized again to start a new life with Christ. He was baptized first. Then he baptized his mother. After she was baptized, she said to the standing crowd, "I'm so thankful that my family (Contact Church) could be here."

During all of this, I'm thinking, "Maybe I've got time to deliver the message. I'll shorten it a little."

Well, one of the teen girls that Sarah has connected with, came up to her, wanting to be baptized. Sarah came up to me with tears in her eyes, telling me the good news. I talked with her, and soon enough we were able to grab her dad. She wanted him to baptize her. A normally very talkative man was speechless before Contact Church. This father got to baptize his daughter, the first person that he has ever baptized. While in the water, he repeated outloud what he heard from the sidelines of the baptistry on what to ask and say. "Do you believe that Jesus is the Son of God?" "Because of that confession, I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit."

What powerful moments all in one day! God's breaking in! People get ready...

And...I get to preach the same message next week!

Carrying a Heavy Load at age 4

2008-06-17T23:00:00.002-06:00

Today a little boy at a one-day VBS came up to me and asked for a Band-aid. I got one for him and then asked what was wrong. He showed me his finger. A large wart had grown on the side of one of his fingers. Our office manager D talked with him about asking his mom to get him some wart removal band-aids. This four-year old's first response was the following: "She doesn't have money for that. Can you go buy some?"

I am amazed and saddened by how much baggage our youth have to carry at such a young age. They already know the financial situation of their homes at the ripe age of 4. They are so resilient, so tough, so courageous, and so insecure. To all who help lighten their load, grace and peace from our Father in heaven.

Family update

2008-06-05T20:50:00.003-06:00

Here are couple recent pictures of Miriam. Summer is in full swing around here. We are enjoying our backyard, the park, and especially the pool. The summer heatwave has already begun!

I'm babysitting a couple school age kids again. They are wonderful helpers and two of Miriam's favorite people. It's a win-win situation for everyone. Bob is headed to camp next week - always a fun week for him, and a long week for us! Please pray for camp, for Bob, and for the two of us waiting at home. We hope your summer is off to a great start too!

Mother-Daughter Tea

2008-06-05T20:34:00.005-06:00

In May the teen girls hosted a mother-daughter tea for their moms and grandmas. We were a small group, but it was an encouraging time for the families who were there. One mother said she could't remember the last time she and her daughter had time alone - just the two of them. She is a single mom with 3 other children. Quality time of any sort is hard to come by. But that day they did get to sit together at the same table, drink tea and eat cookies, play a game (which they won), and even play a little basketball. The picture is of a couple of our teen girls. Beautiful, inside and out. It was a rare treat to see them so dressed up! Thanks for praying for the girls and their families, especially the many single parents we know.

Karate and Basketball

2008-05-19T21:33:00.002-06:00

As I took my four teen karate partners home, I was trying to make conversation with a guy who just started. It was his second time, and I am just not sure if he is interested. He loves basketball and is very talented in that sport. So...I ask a question that I think will motivate him in this new endeavor.

Me: "So do you think there is anything in karate that could help with playing basketball?"

Teen: "Naw. In karate, you learn how to kick and punch and stuff like that. You don't do that in basketball."

Great answer. Let's hope not.

Psalm 14

2008-05-13T07:28:00.002-06:00

The Psalmist speaks to those who say "God is gone" about how their lack of faith leads to a lack of justice and relationship. Here it is in the Message translation:

v.4--Don't they know anything, all these imposters?
Don't they know they can't get away with this--
Treating people like a fast-food meal
over which they're too busy to pray?

v.5-6 Night is coming for them, and nightmares,
for God takes the side of victims.
Do you think you can mess with the dreams of the poor?
You can't, for God
makes their dreams come true.

v.7 Is there anyone around to save Israel?
Yes. God is around; GOD turns life around.

Here's to a day of living like God is around.

A Day in the Life of...

2008-05-12T20:27:00.002-06:00

It's been an interesting day. At Starbucks this morning, I was given free coffee beans (Ethiopia Sidamo) from an employee. She said that the beans were good, just not fresh for selling standards. This lady has 15 children. Four of her boys play college football, and she started law school today.

I got to have Bible study in an apartment with five older teens this afternoon. One of the teens, 18, leases the apartment and has two kids. People flow in and out of the apartment through the week to spend the night. We talked about being the salt of the earth. A couple of them have been coming lately to Contact because we offer rides to church. Their former church couldn't bring them any longer.

I picked up three boys to go to karate practice. We rotate on who picks what fast food place in which to eat. Tonight was Burger King. After the three guys ordered, the lady at the register asked if I was their parole officer. Classic. I told the guys about it at the table, and they just laughed.

After getting them home, I came home to my beautiful wife and little girl at about 8:40. Two teen girls helped Sarah bake cinammon rolls for the bake sales to raise money for the teen girls' trip to Houston. One of them was still there getting to talk to Sarah and watching Miriam play "52-card-pick-up.

And, my little girl knows who she is going to marry when she gets older. Jesus. What a day! One of the blessings of life and ministry is the interesting people that we get to meet. Thank you, God, for being with us.

Easter

2008-03-30T14:54:00.005-06:00

Last Saturday Bob and Matt (another minister at Contact) took a few of our Contact kids to a local egg hunt. It was more of an egg "grab' than an egg "hunt". All the eggs were layed out in a field, and the kids surrounded the area. When they said, "go", the kids grabbed as many eggs as they could as fast as they could. I'm sure you can imagine the chaos! Not quite the egg hunt I was anticipating, but the kids had fun nonetheless. They had their picture made with the Easter bunny and also jumped to their hearts content in the inflated toys. Miriam and I stopped by for the toddler egg hunt - a little slower passed than the grade school hunt, thank goodness!

Happy Birthday, Miriam!

2008-03-30T14:46:00.003-06:00

Two years ago on March 21st Miriam Grace entered the world...and changed our world completely! Here are few pictures from her birthday last weekend. We are daily grateful to the God who created Miriam. He has such wonderful plans for you, sweet girl!

Visions for Delinquent Youth

2008-03-25T21:28:00.005-06:00

How do you challenge teens that are in juvenile centers to stop their ways? Some teens that I visited recently in "juvie" told me about one minister's following words:

You know, if you guys decided right now to never come back to this place and other teens stopped their ways, they'd have to shut this place (juvenile center) down. The people who work here would get their last paycheck and have to find a job somewhere else. If you never came back, they wouldn't even need this place.

So many times in working with at-risk youth, helping the poor, and seeking justice for wrong, we are just managing the problem. We need more people to cast visions that we would call impossible. Visions that we would scoff at. Visions that we want but cannot see how. These two teens caught the vision, and their plans are never to come back. God help them with the how. Surround them with people who still believe that You can do the impossible.

The Way I See It #271

2008-03-19T21:24:00.003-06:00

Starbucks has provided quotes on their paper cups for customers to discuss while drinking "the beverage you're about to enjoy." One of my favorites is from Colin Powell. He said that every child needs a lap top, one to sit on and be raised with love. Here is another one of my favorites...#271:

The law, for all its failings, has a noble goal--to make the little bit of life that people can actually control more just. We can't end disease or natural disasters, but we can devise rules for our dealings with one another that fairly weigh the rights and needs of everyone, and which, therefore, reflect our best vision of ourselves. (Scott Turow, author of Presumed Innocent and also Limitations)

I think about this in regard to how people view the Old Testament and the God who would give the law and all the punishments that came with them. God established the Torah as the best vision of ourselves--us living out what God is like.

"That Was My Dream"

2008-03-18T20:11:00.003-06:00

I heard some reality-facing words today. One of our teens had an altercation (AKA "fight") against another teen. We got the guys to talk, but then I needed to sit down for a talk with the older one of the two. Another minister joined me and asked about his dreams, what he wants to do with his life. The teen has always dreamed of playing basketball in the NBA. He answered, "Yeah, that was my dream."

That word "was" really stuck out to me. This is a guy that is not in school and has never played a game for his high school basketball team. I heard this teen acknowledging that this dream more than likely won't happen. To be honest I am glad. Better is one word of reality than 10,000 words of fantasy, a proverb from a fellow student at grad school. I say this even as an incredible optimist. I like it when we get moments in which we get to see where we really are. I feel like he is in a better position to live out a real dream, a real life with God now. His dream can be to live out how God made him, to carry the cross daily, to be a good husband someday, to be a good father someday. Pray for him and us to see beyond the glitz and glamor of dreams that fall short of the glorious life with God.

The Banquet Table

2008-03-15T13:59:00.002-06:00

Remember that Bible class song, "He invites us into his banquet table and his banner over us is love...."? I was thinking about it today. I had lunch with a few of the teen girls at Ruby Tuesday. They ordered the most enormous desserts I've ever seen. Massive scoops of vanilla ice cream, covered with strawberries. Warm chocolate cake smothered in chocolate sauce. Complete decadence really, but so much fun for the girls. Watching them dig into their sugar filled bowls reminded me of that song and the banquet table we are invited to be a part of someday. Maybe there won't really be ice cream, but it should be an extra special treat to sit down with Christ.

On the road again...

2008-03-12T12:57:00.002-06:00

The teen girls have a couple upcoming trips. First, we are headed to Searcy, AR the second weekend in April to visit Harding University. Most of these girls have never visited a college campus, so this will be a new experience for them. I'm excited about the chance to show them what college life can be like. Secondly, we are in the beginning stages of planning our summer trip. This year the girls have decided that they would like to visit Houston...and Galvaston, of course. Who can resist the beach? None of them have ever seen the ocean before...I can't wait to see their faces! Please be praying for our planning, fundraising, and safe travels.

Birthday at 31

2008-03-05T22:57:00.005-06:00

Today I got to the 31 year mile marker. It was a great day. I got to eat a couple of donuts in the morning with two of my co-workers at the Contact Church as we chatted about life. I got to eat two hot dogs at the Clinton Middle School cafeteria. I also got to eat some great Mexican food at Ted's Escondido. My favorite eating was done with my daughter. We shared some Junior Mints (as seen in the photo), my favorite candy.

The most fun that I had today was with a girl that my wife Sarah babysits on Wednesdays (as well as her brother). She is in one of the upper elementary grades. (I don't know which one. 4th or 5th.) She is in an operetta about pirates. We talked pirate talk, which then shifted into British accents, which then turned into Scottish accents. For about 20 minutes, she and I carried on a conversation as I proceeded to use my ridiculous Scottish accent. Sarah scoffs at my pitiful attempts at being a verbal Scot. Oh what fun to be silly!

Some of the best gifts that I got were the following: a banner waiting for me on our front porch as well as balloons and a banner inside wishing me a happy birthday(courtesy of my lovely wife, Miriam, Drake, and Judith); my friend Matt Hurley sharing his funny life stories (a request of mine); my friend Ox offering an IOU to lift something heavy for me when needed; my friend Devin offering to sing with her lovely voice whenever I request one; financial advice from my friend Cyrus; a funny joke from my friend Jenn; a chocolate-raspberry birthday cake from my wife, and gift cards to bookstores.

I should add to the title "...in the year 2008." Friends and family wished me a happy birthday by texting on cell phone and on Facebook and by e-mail and even by phone. Things have changed a lot in my life, but there is nothing like a friend remembering the day that you were born.

Thank you to the community of people who enrich my life and remind me of the relational, gracious God that we serve. Thanks especially to my wife for making me feel special once again.

Life with a toddler

2008-02-17T10:35:00.004-06:00

Miriam's 2nd birthday is fast approaching, and with it the realization that we no longer have a baby. Our little girl is a full-fledged toddler now. What a bittersweet blessing to watch her grow up! The difficulties of toddlerhood are well-known...the desire for independence, the struggles with communication, the occasional tantrum. I was (at least somewhat) prepared for the negatives. What I didn't hear as much about are the joys of this age. Yes, communication is limited, but -WOW! - she can talk! She can answer questions and express desires. It is amazing to realize we are having "converasations", however brief, with our daughter. Another beauty of this age is watching the imagination bloom. We have pretend tea parties every day. She takes care of her baby dolls with tender care. And her current favorite game, strangely enough, is pretending to sleep. One more amazing part of toddlerhood is seeing her develop a sense of humor. Miriam sends the most magical laughter through our house multiple times a day. Putting a washcloth on her foot at bathtime and pretending it is a baby - that's funny. Hiding behind the curtains and waiting for us to find her- that is also funny. Trying to wake up a "sleepy" Papa - very funny. Yes, there are moments in the post office or the grocery store where I think...."Everyone is looking at us and thinking 'I'm never having a kid'". But most of the time, truly, I find toddlerhood full of beautiful surprises. Enjoy the pictures.

Valentines and Volunteers, by Sarah

2008-02-09T21:55:00.000-06:00

Today we had a Valentine party for the teen girls. I’ve been planning this for a while, and accordingly, ordered items from Oriental Trading Company. I felt quite pleased with myself for being so organized and allowing plenty of time….however, the mail system or the company or something, must have sensed my smugness. I waited and waited. No package. I was forced to make a last minute shopping trip to purchase all the items that were sitting in a box somewhere in the post office. The package arrived, literally, half an hour before the party began. Far too late, of course. Nonetheless, we had a great time with the plan B purchases. (And I have learned to always have a plan B!)

We also chose to invite the 4th and 5th grade girls to come along for the fun. This is the second recent activity that we invited the younger girls to attend. The older girls have a chance to show some positive leadership and the younger girls get a taste of “youth group” life. It also helps me envision where this girls’ group will be in a year or two. It’s a good thing.

Our teen girls group has been through some transitions lately, namely 3 of our girls moving. Only one moved completely out of town, but the other two, for various reasons and despite our efforts, are less connected now. They were very much missed at the party today, not just for the extra hands, but also because of what they each add to the group as individuals. We were, however, really blessed to have lots of adult volunteers. There were 4 other adults there, not counting myself. Praise God! Bob and I have often been in situations where we were IT – the adult presence, period. It is through the grace of God and the many good women here in Tulsa that we had so much help today. Having extra assistance is especially wonderful because every girl that comes has to be picked up and taken home. This adds considerable time to every event we plan, and my car will only hold 3 girls. So thank you, Lord, for sending so many kind and eager women my way.

Having a daughter of my own now, I am beginning to see how quickly time passes. These girls will be women in such a short time. Please, please pray for them. They have so much good in their hearts.

Trio of sickness

2008-01-11T21:14:00.000-06:00

For the last two weeks, Sarah, Miriam, and I have been fighting sickness. First we had a stomach bug. When I say "we," that's what I mean. This is the first time that I have ever experienced us all sick at the same time. My wife has done a great job being a nursing mom even when she feels nauseated. She has been reading some Agatha Christie books, which I believe are her way to discover new ways to get rid of her old husband. Ha.

Now we have respiratory/cold/flu bugs. Miriam is taking breathing treatments and is getting better. We have been watching way more TV than we normally do, especially for Miriam.

Reflecting on these two weeks, I think that God has taught me a lot more about taking care of self and family. I think about the times that I just toughed it out with physical sickness in college and grad school. Not only did I make it tough on my body, but also for those around me that I was contaminating with my germs. I just thought things would get better--eventually. What I did was leave little a less room for God to work. I believed a little less in the providence of God. I see now that if I lay home for two weeks sick, Kingdom work is still being done. Sure I want to get out there and touch some teen's lives. Maybe it's time learn to trust that God is already working. He is doing things that I may not have noticed while in the trenches.

Pray for us.

Buying a Car in the Hood

2008-01-05T22:00:00.000-06:00

Last summer, a family that I know through Contact saved up $1500 to buy a reliable car. They have several children and money is tight. I even got to go to one car lot with one of the parents. At the end of the process, they bought a car from a car lot that I knew nothing of--thankfully. The first sign of a problem was that the car was actually delivered to them by tow truck. Second, they drove the car a few miles down the road, and the car started overheating. When they called the guy who sold them the vehicle, he told them to bring the car into their shop. The car was never fixed. I provided them with phone numbers for legal assistance. Before too long, the guy left town.

Today, I found out another sad point to the story. When the car was brought to the "service shop," they (the guy and his buddies) took the car to get crushed without the family's permission. The mom relayed this to me and said that they just counted their losses, moving on. My jaw dropped. How can this happen?!

Lord, may you bring your justice. May your justice roll into their neighorhood and bring what is right into this broken, crushed world.

Cell Phone Spirituality

2008-01-03T21:01:00.000-06:00

I have finally realized that spirituality comes out in many different forms, especially among teens. How many of you have ever passed on an e-mail or text message forward that says the following: GOD TOLD ME TO TELL U THAT EVERYTHING U R GOING THRU IS ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF. IF U BELIEVE HIM SND 2 TEN PPL? We have a teen in our ministry here at Contact who sends about one spiritual text message forward a week. After being initially annoyed at some of the more "magical ones" (the ones that claim that a blessing or a phone call will happen if you send to ten people), this one struck me hard. I realized that this was her expression of a spiritual life. That text mesage came to her unannounced as a proclamation from God. Forwarding to another person is an act of love and service and comfort. Forwarding is a sign that God is up to something in this world right now. Thanks for sending that one, just don't send me those magical formula ones!

By the way, there is a book out in the Amazon Book Kingdom by the title of this post. Grace and peace.

At the Bus Stop

2007-12-01T21:02:00.000-06:00

Imagine that you are driving along on a stormy day. You see the following three people:

1. An elderly woman who looks as though she is about to die

2. An old friend who once saved your life

3. The woman/man of your dreams (if you are married, imagine that you are not for this question)

Which one would you pick up, knowing that you have only one seat?

I chose the elderly woman and so did the teen guys in my group. They just figured that she needed help.

This was a question on a job application. Out of 200 applicants one was hired because he answered with the following:

I would drop off the keys with my old friend so that he could take the older lady to the hospital. Then I would stay behind waiting for the next bus with the woman of my dreams.

Ah, thinking out of the box. May the Lord help us to think in creative ways to accomplish his Kingdom work.

Not Understanding Grace to Understand It

2007-10-30T21:10:00.001-06:00

One of our church members was talking to me in the hall today. He said, "You know, I just don't deserve the mercy that God gives me. His grace that He shows me is just beyond my understanding." His face showed seriousness. After hearing what he said, I said back to him, "You know, the fact that you say, you don't understand grace, makes me think that you do understand grace. You don't just say, 'Oh, yeah, He died for me and loves me,' and then move on." Seems paradoxical--to understand grace you must not understand grace.

LIFE with Roaches

2007-10-29T23:03:00.000-06:00

This afternoon I helped a family move for about 15 minutes. Seriously. They had moved some of their belongings out on a prior day, but here I was ready for at least a good hour of maneuvering and man-handling. We moved some mattresses, a bedframe, a dresser, two nightstands, two lawnmowers, a TV, a washer, and a dryer, all into a U-Haul. We were done.

I was humbled as I went into their ex-home. I had never really been beyond the living room, but I got a glimpse of LIFE. I went to grab a mattress and noticed a roach who looked very much at home with his buddies. I flicked him (or her for that matter) off just as one of the family walked into the room. I almost felt bad that I was acknowledging the presence of roaches in their home. So many times on visits we do not point out what is obviously there.

This reminds me of a story of a friend named Anthony Wood. He has shared this story over and over, so I do not think that he minds me sharing. He was trying to get into the lives of people in "inner-city" Memphis. He started a Bible study with a gentleman. The study was in this guy's home. This man would get up in the middle of the study and go get some coffee. After the first few visits, Anthony wondered when the man would offer him some. Finally he did. Anthony went into the kitchen with him. He wanted to put some creamer in his coffee, so he needed a spoon. He asked where the drawer was and pulled the drawer open. He discovered roaches were already there, and they were crawling on the spoons. Anthony thought for a second about what he should do. He did not want to offend the man by washing the spoon off, so he put the spoon directly into the hot coffee hoping that the high temperature would sanitize the thing. The gentleman saw the situation and said casually, "We just normally wash the spoon off in the sink." Anthony points out that sometimes you've got to put the spoon in the coffee--unwashed.

The family member was not upset. He did not even acknowledge what I had done. He probably did the same--flicking away-- when he spotted one. When it comes to poverty and its effects, I felt the tension today of wanting and not wanting to acknowledge what I see right before me.

Remembering Birthdays

2007-10-17T21:18:00.000-06:00

Tonight I talked briefly to a teen who seems to be "slipping away." He has trouble with authority at school and church for that matter. He is asked to be the man of the house being just a young man. A friend has said that people have called him a "crashtest dummy," a person who makes stupid choices. He comes across cocky and tough. At the end of our little conversation, he said, "Last Sunday was my birthday." There it is. The reminder of humanity. The reminder of youth. The reminder of wanting to be reached out to even when everything else about the person says, "Get out of my face."

Kung Fu Fighting

2007-10-01T21:33:00.000-06:00

Well, I have entered once again into the realm of martial arts. As a second grader, I took karate lessons with my dad and brother. After a few weeks, I realized that sparring would not happen for a while. I had to learn the fundamentals. My eyes could not be averted though from the amazing fighting that was going on just four mats over. I got out of karate by offering my parents the lame excuse, "My feet hurt too much." Now at the age of 30, I am starting over for the sake of ministry. I have a group of older teen boys that I thought would be interested in learning karate. Each of us can go to this karate shop, which is a ministry of a local church, for the low cost of $5/person per month. They expressed interest. I took three of them the first time. They loved it. The next week, one of them returned. The following week, one again. What I have found is that these few hours is time for this guy to get the attention that he deserves. Sarah and I talk often in our household about how good kids get less attention than those who get into trouble. Since the numbers have dwindled to the two of us, he has shared more of his great personality that is often unnoticed behind his quiet ways. He is not a Christian--yet. After the karate workout, we share about what was tough and neat from the class. We learn self-defense techniques. The instructors pray and are very evangelistic. Through this and Bible studies with this guy, I invite him to be a follower of Christ. And little does he know, that the discipline to learn karate is a taste of the discipline one needs to follow Christ.

Not Enough

2007-09-06T19:59:00.000-06:00

As I walked into her house today, I saw her sitting on the floor. Barbara (not her real name) was very upset. Her son had just been arrested again this morning for drug possession, this time within 100 yards of a school. He is 18 and in jail as I write this. He is a Contact teen that we saw much potential in to reach amazing goals and dreams. I heard his mom say that she feels like maybe she didn't do enough to help him. All I knew to do was sit on the floor with her, listen, and lament in prayer with her.

I feel that too with the youth that come my way. "There is only so much that you can do." "You have a family to take care of." "It is their choice." Those are true, and I accept them. There are times though to lament the way the world is, the effects of a world in which there is free will. And yet, as long as he breathes, the story is not over.

God help your child in jail right now. Help his mother. Let them know that You are with them. We groan for You to make all things right and new. In Jesus name. Amen.

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

2007-08-31T11:41:00.001-06:00

Last night I was rereading a book I picked up somewhere while I was in college. It’s a collection of essays called “Paper Trail” by Michael Dorris. I stumbled upon the book in college, but it stuck with me because several of the essays were about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS). The author, Michael Dorris, adopted 3 children who were all, to greater and lesser degrees, affected by this syndrome. His is a sorrowful and almost hopeless story of life with these three children whom he loves deeply, yet can do so little to help.

For those who don’t know, FAS is the result of alcohol consumption during pregnancy. It is unknown how much alcohol must be consumed in order to injure the fetus, but no amount of alcohol during pregnancy is considered safe. FAS children can have an array of physical impairments, but the most alarming aspect of FAS is how it affects the ability to reason and make choices. Dorris explains it this way:

My grown son has a full range of physical disorders: seizures; curvature of the spine; poor coordination; sight and hearing. But his most disabling legacy has to do with his impaired ability to reason. FAS victims are known for their poor judgment, their impulsiveness, their persistent confusions over handling money, telling time, and in distinguishing right from wrong.

While it is estimated that 8000 babies are born each year with FAS, another 65000 are estimated to be born with Fetal Alcohol Effect (FAE). (These stats are from Dorris’ book.) Though FAE children are not as severely affected as those with FAS, they can still exhibit many of the mental symptoms that make good decision making almost impossible. Dorris says,

Our older children, now all adults or nearly so, often cannot function independently, cannot hold jobs, tell the truth, manage money, plan a future. They have all at one time or another been arrested or otherwise detained for shoplifting, inappropriate sexual conduct, and violent behavior. Despite all our efforts to protect them, they have periodically come under the influence of people who, for instance, worship Satan or take advantage of them physically, mentally, and/or financially. They maintain no enduring friendships, set for themselves no realistic goals, can call upon no bedrock inner voice to distinguish moral from amoral, safe from dangerous.

Why write about this here? Because it struck me in rereading this essay that some of the children and teens (and adults, for that matter) we know at Contact have likely been exposed to prenatal alcohol. How much of their poor decision making skills and impulsivity is the result of normal childish behavior, and how much is linked to the alcohol? We’ll never know. But it made me wonder… and it made me sad. They probably wouldn't be diagnosed with FAS or FAE, but still, it seems logical to me that there could be consequences to the drinking, or smoking or drugs their mamas did while pregnant. Our kids seem to have so much in life already stacked against them – dysfunctional families, low-performing schools, lack of good healthcare – and now this – alcohol in the womb before their first breath. It is a discouraging thought, to say the least! Yet when we look at this, Bob and I, all we know to do is try to keep fighting the odds. Some days it seems we’re pouring water into a bucket full of holes. Though I know and believe that God can heal the most wounded of souls, the most dysfunctional of families, it all too often seems only a miracle akin to the parting of the Red Sea will cause these kids lives to really change. I have to remind myself that faith moves mountains. (But why oh, why does it seem like we have such big mountains here in Tulsa?!) So we, like each of you in your neighborhoods, continue going about the business of not losing faith. We keep praying for these children and teens, keep trying to help them make better choices, keep teaching them about God’s love, keep giving them second chances, keep having faith that something we’re doing is making a difference. Please pray for these children and all children in the world who start out life with so many disadvantages. And pray for us too, that we will not lose heart in a world that tries to steal our faith.

Summer family photos

2007-08-16T22:08:00.000-06:00

Here are few family pictures from the summer. It has been pretty busy around the Logsdon household. God has been good to us though and kept us going even on these hot summer days. Miriam has been a wonderfully flexible toddler. She seems to really enjoy all the activity around here.

Miriam had her first experience with paint this summer. As you can see, it was pretty messy business!

Miriam recently discovered stickers. She loves them!

Miriam enjoys playing in the laundry while I'm trying to fold it. Here she is wearing one of my shirts. :)

Here we are - just relaxing. (Check out those stickers!)

Here's a picture from our Memphis trip. Miriam Loved the bball hoop in the pool.

Another thing Miriam loves is shoes. She got around surprisingly well in this one with a heel. "Shoes" was one of her first words, and it remains one of her favorites. I'm a little afraid of what this might mean for the future!

Miriam is getting really good at putting the shapes in the shape sorter. I know every child goes through these same developemental stages - walking, talking, learning words etc.. - but to see my own child grow and learn seems like a small miracle everytime.

Walking in Memphis

2007-08-10T12:27:00.000-06:00

Our much-anticipated trip to Memphis is over… After months of car washes, bake sales, and thrift sales, the money is spent, the pictures have been taken, and Elvis is just a memory. But what a memory!

Friday night, July 27th, we arrived in Memphis. We crossed the mighty Mississippi and were welcomed to the city I called home for four years. Although it no longer feels like home to me, it was good to be back in the land of sweet tea and barbecue! After a meal at “Hard Rock Café” the girls headed to Linda Bateman’s house to get settled in for the night. Linda is a dear friend who opened her home to us. She fed the girls breakfast every day and dinner two nights, as well as providing late night snacks for hungry teenagers. She was a blessing.

Saturday we began our adventure as tourists. The girls took in Graceland and the Pink Palace museum. They loved seeing Elvis’ home, despite the somewhat dated décor. Saturday night we took the girls downtown to “Rendezvous” and introduced them to real barbecue, Memphis style. Sunday morning we went to church at the Downtown church of Christ where Bob and I used to go (where we met, in fact). It was wonderful to be there again and see many familiar faces. After church, the girls headed to the Stax Museum and then Sun Studio, where they saw the microphone Elvis sang into when he was just starting out as a young, unknown singer.
We had a relaxing evening swimming at Dr. and Mrs. Bland’s pool. Dr. Bland is a former professor of Bob’s from Harding Grad. They were so gracious in allowing us to swim in their pool. On our last day of sightseeing, we headed to the zoo. There was a slight glitch in our plans when we got a flat tire on the van. God was watching out for us though. We were right next to a tire shop where the mechanic kindly repaired the tire for free! We did finally make it to the zoo where we enjoyed the pandas and the polar bears and all the other animals. That afternoon we went downtown to the National Civil Rights Museum. I think seeing the struggle for equal rights in our country and how far we’ve come touched us all. It was a good way to end our time in Memphis. Tuesday morning we packed up and let the girls hit the mall for a few hours. Then we headed home to Tulsa.

Miriam and I missed out on at least half of the sightseeing adventures due to the many needs of a growing toddler. Timilyn Towers, one of our other chaperones, was tour guide extraordinaire. She took over the responsibilities of keeping up with everyone, as well as keeping everyone laughing and having fun. Thanks, Timilyn! We were also blessed to have Larita, a grandma of one of the girls, along with us. She was a trooper, keeping up with all that walking we did!

In reflecting on the trip I’ve tried to think of one story that highlights what this experience meant to the girls. I don’t think I have one, probably because Miriam and I were having a somewhat different travel experience (those of you with toddlers will understand!). I do know though that the girls benefited from seeing the world is bigger than their neighborhood, bigger than Tulsa. This was the farthest from home most of them have ever been, and there is no way it could have happened without the help of many people.
I know the girls felt the love of D who arranged spending money for each of them, of Linda who let them sleep all over her living room, of Dr. Bland who let them use his pool, of “Miss T.” who drove them all around Memphis in the van and led them in devos every night, of everyone who helped us with fundraising or who prayed for this trip to be possible. To each of you we say, “thank you”.

Rescue

2007-08-06T20:39:00.000-06:00

The #1 hit song in the church van this summer is...Rescue by Acappella. We have the old Acappella album (the tape version!!) in our van, and during hours of driving around town, we don't listen to the radio (my choice), but Rescue..over and over and over. Not a bad song to put into the hearts and minds of teens. There is nothing like hearing teens ask,"Can you rewind that song (Rescue) again?" Sure beats hearing "Bay Bay Bay" (a popular rap song). Grace and peace on the road.

Muscles and Clay Dyer

2007-08-04T21:20:00.000-06:00

A couple weeks ago a few of my Contact Church brothers went to a conference in which they saw a video clip made by ESPN. They profiled a man named Clay Dyer, a Bass Pro fisherman. Doesn't sound too interesting until you see that he has no legs and no arms, except for a short stump on his right shoulder. He ties the lures using his mouth.

I was talking with our teen boys recently about what they would give up if they had to lose either their vision or hearing. One guy chimed in with an eye-opening statement (pardon the pun): I would kill myself if I went blind. Sitting in the room with us was Muscles. He is an adult member at Contact. He has one arm that functions right, the other arm can be used sometimes. His eyes squint most of the time, making it hard to see. He never complains. He spoke up about how he felt like dying a few years ago as he faced this new disability. Since he has come to Contact, he helps around the building and keeps the grounds looking good. He has found a true niche.

I was so thankful for his words. Clay Dyer was asked in the clip if he would change anything if he could about his life. He said "no." He does everything that any other professional fisherman does. He realizes that his life reveals the miracle of living in the midst of our pain and brokenness. I am so thankful for my brother, Muscles. He inspires us to live for the LORD and wait on the LORD during the rough moments. That clip can be found at www.smgoutdoors.com/claydyer.html.

"I Don't Need to Go to Church"

2007-07-23T21:05:00.000-06:00

My heart hurts tonight. For what feels like the thousandth time, I heard the words above. I dropped some teens off in their neighborhood, and a guy approached asking what we were upto with our church. He told me that he prays to God and reads His Bible. The way that he said it, seemed to be telling me the following: "I don't need to go to church. I have my own relationship with God." I asked him if he had anyone who knew his business, if he had anyone to whom he could confess his sins. I told him that he can come as he is to Contact Church, no need to dress up. He asked if we had child molesters at our church.

What is underneath the surface of his statements and questions? Mistrust of churches. Being burned by people in authority at churches. Not seeing the love of God among Christians. Dislike at having to walk with people that you don't like but are saved by Jesus and being sanctified by the Spirit. Pride in having to admit that you are weak and need others to help you walk with God. I think most Christians who go to church have probably had those thoughts or feelings at one time or another. I do not know his story. That is perhaps the reason that my heart hurts. He has reached a point in which he has found individualism as a yoke that is easier to bear than the yoke of community. In some ways, I cannot blame him. Why go to a place where you feel horrible about yourself, and that the people there don't make it any easier for you? Maybe the community of God's people does not image God together, the way we image God individually.

What I dream of doing is going up to Cody and saying, "Let's have church right here. Where two or three are gathered...right?" Pray for the church that we can represent God well as His community.

Lucy has a home

2007-07-20T13:25:00.001-06:00

Well, Lucy has found a home with Mike and Kim, a wonderful dog-loving family from Contact. They live out in the country and are the people who helped us get her in the first place. They also helped us train her as best as they could over the phone. We are happy and glad that our ol' dog Lucy has a good home. She is going to love chasing those rabbits.

Goodbye, Lucy

2007-07-19T20:50:00.000-06:00

Well, we got rid of our dog. We decided to take her in mid-January though we were not looking to get one. We liked the idea of having a dog, but we are just not "dog people" (whatever that means). We didn't have the time to give her the attention that she needed as such a social animal. We have put an ad in the Tulsa World for a good family to take her. In the meantime, she is at Mike and Kim's out in the country, living it up, I'm sure.

Are we sad that she's gone? Not yet. We feel like we are getting our backyard back. She taught me a lot though. Through all of the dog-training books and help from Mike and Kim, I realize that I too need lots of training and lots of love to become the kind of person that I was meant to be as a disciple of Jesus and child of God. I think that I am a better parent because of her. A calm, firm voice goes much further in discipline and training than yelling. Please pray that she finds a good home, she deserves it.

What Makes Me Angry

2007-07-19T14:33:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I sat in our church building's conference room with three 13 year old guys who go to the Contact Church of Christ. We had just finished reading about Nehemiah's grief in response to the news of the sad state of Jerusalem. I was curious to know what injustices or things in the world that are not right, which make them mad or sad. Here's our list:

1. Crime--robbery, break-ins
2. Girls getting raped
3. How some rich people treat the poor
4. Hypocrites
5. Moving poor people out of a neighborhood to build something else
6. People getting "jumped" (one guy fought by a group of guys)
7. The fact that it takes the police a long time to come to their neighborhood even though the police station is close by
8. When someone gets shot in the hood and no one is willing to tell the police who it was even though he/she saw the event happen

Talk about some a great discussion. Even better was to hear two of our teen guys pray over this list. One of the best prayers that I have heard in a while.

Literacy

2007-07-11T20:15:00.000-06:00

Last night I talked to a good friend about the problems of the world, especially poverty. In America, we agreed hunger is usually not the main problem. There are plenty of resources available. From his research, one of the biggest needs to help end poverty is the ability to read. What do you think? I know that it has broadened my horizons and opened doors and worlds that I never knew existed. He has seen the good effects by participating in a program called WizKids, which took volunteers to children after school and read with them. He quoted stats for me that told me of the link of reading ability and whether or not a child will end up in jail someday. I commend my brother for wrestling with the underlying needs. I also wonder what the poor would say their needs are. Let's keep asking tough questions. I am tired of assuming that I know what is need and just maintaining the same outreach efforts.

Demonizing Single Mothers

2007-07-11T20:08:00.000-06:00

I read that phrase in a book recently. This is what happens to single mothers in the hood. Do they make bad decisions? Yes. Do they make good decisions? Yes. Here is a story that opened my eyes a little more to their world:

One mom had an eight month old son who went to childcare. The childcare usually dropped him off, but one particular day they had to take the kids home early. They didn't have enough room for him on the first round, so he was at the childcare facility. The mom expected him home at a certain time. When he wasn't there, she went down there. When she walked in, she saw her son trying to pull himself up on his feet. Everytime he got up, the adult worker there knocked him back down with her foot. The mom watched this a few times in horror, not believing what she was seeing. She confronted the lady, and from that day on, she does not trust childcare. She told me that she doesn't work because she has kids that she wants to raise. My respect for her just went up a notch.

Pink Flamingoes

2007-06-21T09:30:00.000-06:00

Back in 2004, when Sarah and I first joined the work here in Tulsa, there was a teen girl that I was trying to reach out to and build a relationship. Her birthday came up, so I decided to surprise her. I got up that morning before school started and placed a pink flamingo in the ground right in front of her door. I put a "Happy Birthday" note on the plastic bird. She was surprised. All day she tried to think about who did it. She called around after school and finally found the guilty party.

I was reminded of that as I saw her again this past week at our annual church camp. A group of college students from the University of Southern Florida come over and run a camp for our Contact youth, first grade to high school. It is quite the highlight of the year. She and her brother now live in Florida with their dad. Since they have been there, there has been transformation. They are in far less toxic environment with stability and support. The college group is an hour away from them in Florida, so they have lots of interaction. We are praying for them to find a church family to be connected to as they go home this week from camp.

They don't make pink flamingoes anymore, at least the last factory closed down here in America. As I saw this young lady little did I know that a pink flamingo would be a sign of hope as she and her brother now live in the land of pink flamingoes, Florida.

Crying for the "Tough Guys"

2007-05-30T15:36:00.000-06:00

Today I went to visit a teen guy who presents a pretty tough facade. He has only come to Contact a handful of times, and those times were all about life on his terms. One of his first visits was at a basketball fellowship time with the teen boys. I laid out the rules of conduct for how we as guys need to respect each other. He came up to me after my talk when all the guys had cleared out from signing the contract of conduct. He felt like I was looking at him the whole time. I knew then that this guy had been judged before by people in authority and that this could be a rough relationship as he carried a chip on his shoulder.

Today we talked outside of his home on the small concrete slab of a front porch. We chatted for a while, and then he asked if I have a daughter. He then asked if I cried when she was born. I don't remember crying per se, but I do remember being close to it with all of the joy in the moment. He asked if my wife Sarah cried. Yep. He said, "That's dumb to cry about that." My knee jerk response was to give him the three point sermon about why he was wrong. I just said that crying is not a right or a wrong thing, not even a dumb thing. He said that he doesn't cry. He just holds in the anger and started to explain that this is probably why he feels so angry. He caught himself in the midst of this and went back to making rude comments. He made rude comments about stuff in which he knew nothing. He wanted to get a rise out of me, and with the Lord's grace, I didn't take the bait. He had felt uncomfortable letting his guard down, if even for a moment. I told him that I realize it's hard being uncomfortable talking about stuff on the inside, but he wasn't having anymore of that being vulnerable stuff.

He told me not to come back to his house anymore, that I was of no benefit to him. As I left him, I said, "I love you, man." He turned around and asked, "Are you gay?" I just said "no" and left the premises.

As I reflected on my drive back to Contact, I realized that this guy was throwing out at me all of the ugly stuff that he could muster. He wanted to see if I would beat him down, if I would judge him, if I would let him know that his hurt and anger was too ugly to look at. The ugliness coming out is a sign of the "ugliness" that he sees in himself--"Could God really love me as I am?" When I go to see him next time, I'll let him know.

Mother Daughter Tea- by Sarah

2007-05-21T14:43:00.000-06:00

Last weekend the teen girls hosted a Mother Daughter Tea for their Moms and Grandmas. It was the result of several weeks of planning by the girls and numerous trips to the store by me. It was definitely worth it when I saw them sit down with the important women in their lives and enjoy tea, cookies, and laughter.

The girls gathered on Friday night and set up tables, arranged flowers, painted flowerpots (as gifts for moms), laid out centerpieces, etc… It was a late night, but well worth it. When we left the building, the Contact “café area” was transformed into a tearoom, complete with china teacups and cloth napkins. Quite different from our normal paper plate affairs at Contact!

Saturday afternoon my mom, grandma, and sister (who came into town for the event) helped me put the finishing touches which mostly involved making sure the food was ready- cucumber sandwiches, mini-tarts, and shortbread cookies, and of course, tea. The girls arrived with their moms and grandmas. We took their pictures together to remember the day. One of our teens, who generally has a very solemn demeanor, had the most beautiful smile for the camera.

When everyone had arrived they were welcomed by two of our girls. Then they were ready to serve tea and snacks to their families. In this soda pop and latte culture I truly expected everyone to just sip a little tea and be done. I was so surprised to see everyone, including the teens, going back for refills and enjoying the tea and company.

When the teapots were getting close to empty, we played a game, “How well do you know your mom/daughter?” I asked a series of questions such as: “What is your daughter’s favorite T.V. show?” and “What is your mom’s least favorite household chore?” It was so funny to watch the girls and their moms try to get inside each others’ heads. In the end, Porsche and her mom won the prize. This was especially meaningful since Porsche and her mom have only recently begun to develop much of a relationship.

I hope this is the beginning of a Contact Mother’s Day tradition. I loved watching the girls and their moms enjoy the time together, but I also enjoyed getting to help walk the girls through the planning of an event like this. I would guess most of our teens rarely sit down to a meal of any sort with their family, especially with fancy china and cloth napkins. This was an opportunity to learn how to plan an event, participate in a dress-up tea, and make a positive memory with family. Mission accomplished.

Special thanks to my mom, Mary Ashlock, my Grandma, Mary Wood, and my sister, Rachel for all their help. Thanks also to D. MacGuffee for letting us borrow her china. You guys helped provide a great memory for the girls and for me!

Pray for Everybody

2007-05-03T21:30:00.000-06:00

I find in urban ministry that when you ask people what to pray for, they answer, "Well, just pray for everybody." A few years ago, a dear sister Marie Thomas in Memphis would always ask us to pray for everybody as we sat in her apartment unit waiting for her kids to come home from school. She died at the hospital, while taking care of one of her children. She had medical problems that she didn't seek help for because she was so busy thinking of her children. Yesterday I rolled around Tulsa with a young guy named Taylor. When I asked him who we could pray for, he said...you guessed it, "everybody." He didn't want to leave anyone out. He has a single dad who takes care of him and his sister. Tonight Miriam and I went to visit a family with nine children. One of them is on the verge of either going the way of the world or possibly the way of the Lord, probably the first option. When I asked his family what we could pray for, he said, "Everybody." I said, "Well, let's get more specific." The response "everybody" is a heavy burden that often leaves me speechless before God. They are right--we can't leave anybody out.

Cesar's Way

2007-03-30T10:51:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago at the library, I picked up the CDs for the book Cesar's Way. The author Cesar Milan is also known as the Dog Whisperer. What a name! I was excited to hear more from him since we have a 6-7 month old dog named Lucy. We got Lucy back in January from Mike and Kim, fellow Christians at the Contact Church. Mike and Kim get several dogs dropped at their doorstep, so they have a ministry to provide homes for these dogs. They called us about Lucy, and after some "counting the cost" discussions, Sarah, Miriam, and I took her into our lives. We are rather behind in knowing how to help a dog get trained, so Cesar was a welcome friend in helping us (and also Mike and Kim).

In the midst of listening to him (and watching him also on a DVD), here are some insights that have helped me from dog training in applying them to youth ministry (I hesitated to post this, but it really has helped me gain insight into how to train and nurture youth--though I heartfully acknowledge that they are not animals):

1. Dogs have a dog psychology, not a human psychology. Cesar says that we tend to humanize dog behavior with our own human psychology. Dogs need an alpha dog to lead the pack, to show them how to live. If you don't become the alpha dog, they will. Dogs also live in the present moment, not in the past and the future. Sounds like the ways things work with youth to me. If there is not a clear leader, then youth will take the reins. The ability to live in the present is often under-appreciated by adults, but we are often poor at this. This also means that the lesson you taught youth yesterday could be forgotten today and then tomorrow. The lessons have to be repeated over and over.

2. Dogs respond best to calm, assertive energy. Cesar says that Oprah is the best example of this, although I've seen her lose her "cool" a few times. Dogs, like youth, can feel the energy. When we get frustrated, they can feel it, and often that energy damages the relationship. From deep within our core, we can respond to youth in a calm, assertive way. I find myself wanting to be in check when my anger starts to rise. Maybe I'm taking their actions or behaviors personally. Maybe I'm making too much of something or come with unrealistic expectations.

3. Dogs need exercise, nutrition, and affection--in that order!! Last week, during Spring Break, we had a day with the teen boys devoted to basketball. We played from 1 PM, took a short supper break, and then played until 8:00PM. This verified a theory that Matt Hurley, a co-worker of mine, and I have held. These boys could play ball all day long. Around 4:30 PM, I noticed that the teens starting picking at each other and getting annoyed a little bit easier. Time to load up and eat at CiCi's Pizza. Throughout the day, we had times to stop and talk about being role models for the younger guys and how well they could do that. They listened a lot better because the first two needs were met.

4. Dogs get frustrated and need ways to channel that energy. Cesar points out that dogs get so much energy built up that they get frustrated and don't know what to do with it all. He tends to work with strong breeds of dogs the most since they are such high-energy dogs and owners don't know how to help them. He will get a Pit Bull on a leash, put some roller blades on, and go for a ride. The Pit Bull won't listen to anything before the ride. After the challenge of keeping up with Cesar, he is tired and better able to listen. I believe that youth have the same trouble, so much frustration is built up which comes out in awkward or hurtful ways. This can be redirected into exercise or an activity as a distraction, and then you can talk later about what was going on back there.

5. Dogs need to be rehabilitated, owners need to be trained. Cesar believes that since dogs are naturally pack animals, as they live with humans, they forget how to be dogs. In his words, he needs to help them to "learn how to be a dog again." He rehabs them and helps the owners to know how to let their dog be a dog. Often I wonder how much of problems that arise with youth is the junk--emotional baggage, sins unconfessed, addictions, misunderstandings from not listening-- that parents/adults carry in themselves. This is the junk that we then pass onto them. Don't get me wrong, I believe youth can be rebellious and choose wrong. I just think that youth, in the city or suburbs or rural areas, often have to grow up way too fast because adults are not being the grown-ups that they should be. Teens often need to "learn how to be youth again" in this season of life.

What Kills the spirit

2007-03-13T21:16:00.000-06:00

Tonight I did pick-ups for the teen girls' weekly Bible Study fellowship. My wife Sarah and Taryn Towers do a wonderful job loving on these young ladies on Tuesday nights. What I thought would be a quick first stop ended up in a conversation about how life changes directions.

Jay (not his real name), the boyfriend to one of the teen's relatives, informed me that the teen girl I was looking for was out of control and was not to be found. He related this situation to his life. His mom taught him a healthy fear of her authority. He would never do wrong in front of her or be disrespectful toward her. At the same time, he still allowed himself the option to do wrong when she was not around to see. Before he went through that door though, he had followed a good path. He was active in sports, especially football. He asked his mom to come to his games. She said that she was too busy or had too much work to do. He kept asking her. He pleaded with her to come to his games. She still would not come. Then he started missing practices, or he would go to practice but not really give it his all. He developed relationships with some guys who ran the streets. Finally, he gave up football. He got hooked to life on the streets--gangs and drugs. Eventually, he had to learn the hard way, serving time in the state penitentiary.

Upon reflecting on his mother's unwillingness to come to his football games, he said, "I don't know. I guess it just killed my spirit to play." You could feel the tender hurt in his statement. That was a big part of his life story. He sees now that he could have decided to play just for himself. Toward the end of the conversation, he said, "When I have kids, I am going to do all that I can to be there for them at their games, even if I have to lose my job or something." I believe him.

Restore

2007-03-09T09:26:00.000-06:00

Last May, the teens at the Contact Church had just about finished a good evening of fellowship on a Friday night. Then chaos broke out over some trash talk about who won or lost the last basketball game. In the process, two teen guys got up in each other’s faces, ready for who knows what. What eventually happened is that one of the guys made a serious threat toward the other guy. The words “I’m gonna shoot you if…” flew out of the mouth of one young man. This was new territory for me. In all my days as an urban youth minister, I had not encountered this kind of threat on another teen. The teen admitted that he said it. For the safety of others, we told him to stop coming to Contact.

What didn’t stop was the development of a game plan to help this teen get restored back to a right relationship with the other guy, the Contact Church, and the Lord. I contacted an organization called Urban Youth Worker’s Institute and asked if anyone in this field of ministry had ever encountered a similar situation. One person replied that something like this happened in California. Two guys got into it with each other, and a youth leader stepped in to help resolve the situation. He ended up taking the two teens on a boating trip to help do something fun together. In the midst of the trip, there was some stormy weather. The boys were desperately working to get water out of the boat, and needless to say, their relationship grew in that moment.

One youth worker named Detra sent this to me:

Furthermore, when we talk about apologizing, this youth also needs to know that he should be asking for forgiveness not just saying “I’m sorry.” He also needs to know that in spite of the discipline he will get, that the ministry still loves and forgives him as Jesus does. My biggest concern is that if you decide not to let him back into the ministry, there may be some unresolved issues that could result in future problems. Win him over as Jesus did, with lots and lots of LOVE. If he trusts you or one of your youth leaders enough, you will be able to win him over.

I thought that she said well the things that we (Contact Staff, parents of the two teens, and myself) were wrestling with in this process of restoration. What does true repentance look like for the teen who made the threat? He and I talked about that. He was getting anger management counseling at school that helped him to develop an approach to fights at school that was way less reactive. At one moment last fall, he seemed ready to ask for forgiveness. When I went to pick him up to meet the other guy and his mom, I asked if he was ready. He said, “I guess so,” with little or no interest in going to make things right. I was not about to drag him off to apologize, so he stayed home that day to mull it over some more.

Restoration does happen. A few weeks ago, the two teen guys sat with me in a Braum’s restaurant parking lot to get right with each other. The teen who made the threat said what he needed to, and the other guy apologized as well. The following Sunday they stood up in front of the church together. The first teen said that he made a big mistake, regretted it, and had learned what to do when there’s a fight. The other teen stood by him and apologized because it “takes two people to have a fight.” The response was overwhelming from the adults in the church. Many came up there to pray with them. After the prayer, I got to see adults hugging this teen who had made this threat. As we hugged him, we got to reflect the unseen God in a visible form with lots of LOVE, like Detra suggested. He got to meet the God who is “kind to the ungrateful and the wicked” (Luke 6: 35). The one that I have met and known along the Way.